passive idiocy

That's how I'm going to die.

Passive idiocy. The sheer fucktardery will seep in through my skin and I'll get some kind of tumour.

In the state of Australia I live in, about 30% of cars have personalised license plates. With a max of 6 characters to work with, most of the combinations got taken long ago.

Now, I have a bit of an issue with words, I can't help reading them. So, the non-obvious personalised plates tend to itch at my brain until I can figure out just what combination of idiocy and poor spelling came up with the plate in question.

The one I saw on the way home this evening was: IJCBI

It's probably really stupid (I mean, they all are), but I just stared and started gesturing to my fiance and made strangled whimpering noises. I couldn't figure out why anyone would pay extra to put that on some piece of shit 20yr old hatchback that probably cost less than the plate itself.

To put me out of my pain (and this is why I love him), he offered up the suggestion of 'Jizz Covered Bogan', with the Is as decoration.

We're so classy.

and this is why i hate the news

It really isn't that the world is this bad. There are millions more people not dying —but that's not good news. It seems we're all driven to read the crappiest of things about other people, the crappier the better.

I'm just as guilty as anyone else, there's a sick fascination with reading about some kind of disaster, it makes whatever shit that's happening in your own life infinitely less bad.

It doesn't make it any less horrid to see that death dominates the 'World News' section though.

i don't care why. just fix it #1

seriously

this is why people pirate shit.

how many fucking weeks do i have to wait for this? if you advertise it over here, make sure we can fucking buy it. it's not that fucking hard.

i love my ipad kindle app, it lets me buy things at what they're actually worth, minus the assortment of taxes and penalties and such that we pay here in australia for, well, just about anything. despite having a higher exchange rate than the $US. downloaded stuff just shouldn't cost more because the physical product does. there's no printing costs, there's no postage, there's no courier charges, it weighs fuck all, and the writer is probably getting buttfucked by the publisher anyway.

but the titles available are limited by whatever bullshit excuse for drm restrictions, copyright crap and a whole lot of other bullshit we have in australia. so i can search for shit, i know it exists, i could buy the physical book but i can't buy the ebook.

Dear Government Arseholes,
Fix this shit. You've finally given in on the whole R18+ category for video games, so get with the rest of the digital program.

Stop being a pack of useless retards about everything and just fix shit.

—Yours Sincerely,

the letter m.

my life as a compulsive reader

see, i read. a lot. i can't seem to help it. i read anything that has words. as far as i'm concerned, libra designed their odd spots for people like me.

not that long ago, this was an advantage, but as the news cycle got shorter and shorter, and most of the articles on the local newspaper website became cut and paste jobs, it just fills my brain with stuff i don't want to know, stuff that pisses me off, and pretty much endless arguing by people paid to submit reactionary comments on subjects they pretty much don't even remotely understand attached to articles they apparently don't even read.

i'm hoping one day google will become sophisticated enough to just crawl the web and present me with stuff that i actually want to read, and will just trim out all the morons for me. i don't see it so much as censorship but protection of my blood pressure. i'm actually that easily annoyed. also, that lazy.

fuck winter.

i fucking hate winter. there's no snow to make it slightly less crap, there's just cold. and by the looks of it, way too fucking much cold to come too.

and the fucking heating is off too.

bears have the right idea.

noone asked my permission. i'm pretty sure i'd remember an email or something, because there'd be a lot of swearing, and a pretty firm no vote. applied with something sharp and pointy.

please explain #1

ok.

i don't get it.

why is drawn together funny? i previously thought home movies the least funny cartoon, but i actually now, in context (i.e, it's not drawn together) i think it's quite good.

sometimes cartoons take a while to sink in with me, invader zim for instance, took a whole episode or two for me to like, but somehow drawn together has managed to take decent drawing talent, vaginas, snarky comments about sluts, grossness and all manner of other things that south park do... and just leave out the funny.

or

i'm a mutant and it's seriously fucking funny.

it's probably option 2.

this whole issue was brought up by my loving fiance, who decided to clear my emotional palate of depression brought on by, of all things, an episode of south park.

so now instead of depressed, i'm pissed off and irritated at another cartoon.

apparently that's a win.

things that are going to give me an aneurism

• trying to figure out how to spell aneurism without checking google.
• southern rocycling (yes. there really is a recycling company called that.
• compulsively trying to figure out what idiots have on their personalised (license) plates 
• trying to fit 60 hours into a single day
• arseholes who drive trail bikes around residential areas as if they're on a farm
• arsehat utility companies that disconnect you in the middle of fucking winter

... aaaand while I'm on the subject of assholes. Why is it that the client to pain in the arse ratio is inversely proportionate to the value of the invoice?